The wonderful bladder
While talking on the phone to my future employer the fine whistle of nature called. Of course this is not such a startling event, the kicker comes in the creative thinking that is applied to inform the gentleman, that as I am driving I need to hang up and call him later when I have parked the car,needless to say I was nowhere within sight of my vehicle. It appears that I can now park a car in 1 minute flat!
But then it occurred to me, how many boardroom meetings have been cut short or how many decisions have been made simply for the victim to indulge in a little tinkle to satisfy that urge, that literally builds up in the nether regions of the body to the point where all mental thought or the excercise there of is a fragment of the imagination?
One minute you're sitting down all self assured, the next minute, you've identified that feeling. It starts out slowly as little whisper to the brain. You ignore it, you can still pay attention to the conversation at hand. The whisper turns into a definite but polite 'Ahem...', your brain lenga's, it's not so bad, just shift your position on the chair to relieve some of the pressure on the bladder. Conversation looses some interest.
Your nether regions seeing that no action is being taken, brings on the blitz, for all you footbal fans you know what this means, it's Brett Favre getting sacked by a group of three 350 pounders...(ASIDE: it's about time he hung he's helmet up....he's turning into the token old dude on the packers team)
The exquisite torture begins, we're not talking about the itch between your shoulder blades at the exact spot that you can't reach.
(To be continued....)
But then it occurred to me, how many boardroom meetings have been cut short or how many decisions have been made simply for the victim to indulge in a little tinkle to satisfy that urge, that literally builds up in the nether regions of the body to the point where all mental thought or the excercise there of is a fragment of the imagination?
One minute you're sitting down all self assured, the next minute, you've identified that feeling. It starts out slowly as little whisper to the brain. You ignore it, you can still pay attention to the conversation at hand. The whisper turns into a definite but polite 'Ahem...', your brain lenga's, it's not so bad, just shift your position on the chair to relieve some of the pressure on the bladder. Conversation looses some interest.
Your nether regions seeing that no action is being taken, brings on the blitz, for all you footbal fans you know what this means, it's Brett Favre getting sacked by a group of three 350 pounders...(ASIDE: it's about time he hung he's helmet up....he's turning into the token old dude on the packers team)
The exquisite torture begins, we're not talking about the itch between your shoulder blades at the exact spot that you can't reach.
(To be continued....)
posted by Stunuh Jay at 4:40 PM
9 Comments:
Am I one of the few diaspora folk who have adamantly refused to embrace NFL.I see KBW folk vibing about it lakini I am like bila no way!I am missing tri-nations and EPL,la liga and Serie A.BTW that bladder thing has made me always pee before leaving the digs esp when I am going to see ppl in ATL and have to do mad mileage.
i wanna hear bout the exquisite torture:especially when u have to go but can't!!!
oh the torture...especially if you have an unexplainable "thing" about going to the bathroom in a public place!!! then when i finally get home to pee, it takes forever...tinkle by tinkle!!!
Ah the mystery of ineer plumbing, they could do a Discovery Channel special on the magical land known as the bowels. The WORST is when you refuse to poo/shit/crap/plo-plop in a place thinking you can make the ride home, but it seems that the closer you get to home the worse that pain becomes. It's like it knows your heading home..AND then once you get there you barely get your trousers down in time before that " Rush O' Plenty"
Gotta go potty.......
LOLOLOL
I always said they should install coin thingys in the loo. Guys would be popping coins into those things for the sweet relief!!! Ayayayaya when you gots to go and mgopero gets caught emerging from zipper spewing onto trousers, shoes and floor. Gai fafa!!
@Milo..mgopero is new to me
@stunuh "it's about time he hung he's helmet up....he's turning into the token old dude on the packers team"
Agreed..irks me the way the media gives him a pass when does dumb things..."ohh thats just brett" arghhhh
@acolyte...how does one drive in ATL without going down the wrong peach tree street....?
@Nick, try watch 'waterworld' in the theatre but your to embarrased to get up because you're sitting in the middle of the middle row!
@Kip..I think one should investigate public washrooms and the dissappearing urge to pii!!! My word! some of those places just scare your bladder into submission, temproary respite until it starts misbehaving at which point get thee home on the fastest plane, triain or automobile!
@ EL.. inner plumbing should definitely be dabbed the last frontier! Which brings to mind this particular scenario...deep space 9 looses gravity! how does holding feel and when you really gotta go...what a mess!
@ Milo...trick is to have a sink with a faulty tap, and have everyone within ear shot hear the expletives as you come out drenched, it's better than having someone say you susu's on yourself.... :) Let me knoe if it works.
@Msanii...that's the only way to get rid of Brett, have him retire or else it's age discrimination... yah know PC. At least you get sunday and monday night football. I have to stay up till 12.45 just to get the sunday night highlights, then the game starts at 1:15 am!!! technically speaking that's Tuesday morning footbal!!!
brings on the blitz, for all you footbal fans you know what this means, it's Brett Favre getting sacked by a group of three 350 pounders...(ASIDE: it's about time he hung he's helmet up....he's turning into the token old dude on the packers team)
........(sigh) you had me at brings.
@sandy...haha!
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