Cutlery and silverware is strictly for eating

Today I go out for lunch with my current object d'armour, and as I'm going to the lunch room I see my regular heart throbs.... who are still heart throbingly decadent, only I can't partake of the lusting over eye candy that I usually do with them. Like the polite charmer that I am I said hello, but woul you know it! the current pararmour does not seem to take to kindly to this fact and when picking up the silver ware I nearly get impaled as the knife and fork go sliding accross my lunch tray!
And he punctuates with each toss 'Do you know every guy in school?' at which point the angel that hovers above my right shoulder went and clamped he's hand over the devil's mouth that struts upon my left shoulder and whispered...LIE! So I look dumbfounded and innocent and proceed to the table to sit with the gentry from my department.
Mental note to self: next time choose a food joint that has the silverware chained to the table!