UUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

We go out of town for the weekend, Nessa (my bud) has not decided what to do so obviously she's still looks like a smacked bottom!
What should happen at this away weekend, it's neutral teritory, nobody's been pissing in any corners so the rule book is out
1) Thou shalt not engage in PDA (public displays of affection) and be captured on camerra (what happens in this joint, stays in this joint! (Did I forget to mention that Nessa does have a boyfreind)
2) Thou shalt not drink and dial (if they couldn't make it for the weekend...TOUGH)
3) Thou shall have thyself a good time.... irrelevant. The excuse of diminished capcity to justify any actions that may or may not be discovered during routine questioning at the point of return may be used against you at a future date in time....BE WARNED!!!
Right.... Let's play.

Nessa and I shopped like we were going to die, as a result my banker has taken to calling me during working hours to determine that I am still employed!!! We partied like the world was going to end, I have some unexplained bruises to prove that I had a good time (That and obviously some git forgot about rule #1 so my happy behind is like plastered on kadha pages of BEBO.... and if you haven't heard of BEBO....who am I to tell you?) The club was hopping! I could have married the DJ...GOOD LAWD! I have never seen black men contained in one space like that before!
Well it's been a while (get your mind outta that there gutter!) and I just missed being surrounded by familiar accents and mannerisms. I danced till I sobered up, so I had to keep drinking, to keep my buzz going (my liver was working double time and I got the bill early Sunday morning.... do you know? your liver can actually hurt!?!)

But that was what we did.... when I was passed out, thoroughly amused with life in general in my room (ALONE...thank you very much!) Dear one i.e Nessa (and on account of having just the 1 brain cell on duty that night!) was getting loved up! And you know what that means.... I get the lovely task of picking up the pieces.... I get to tell her, (oh yes ! I wanted to tell her I TOLD YOUR SORRY BEHIND SOOO!) Don't worry you'll be fine, if it was meant to be.....sigh together here. (HAH!! girlfreind code book, chapter 2, things to say instead of I TOLD YOUR SORRY REAR END SOOO! such a handy book ladies I suggest you all run out and bye a copy... updated and unabriidged!)
I get to look miserable (well that wasn't hard to do I was having labour union discussions with my liver! A strike seemed imminent!) and say It's arlight it'll work out.
Please note the following is a rant based purely on jealousy and other feminine issues.
No it wasn't alright because she has a boyfreind (who I think is a waste of frigging space ) but she has one! who even though he's cheating on her has her in mind... Go figure! But two wrong's do not make any one wrong better than the other. I do not want to hear about how you're going to dump your boyfreind for the 13th time this month. I do not care if the two of you fall off the face off the earth (especially your boyfreind, he's so up himself he could probably see what he had for lunch, and especially now that I'm negotiating with the Procelain God!)
Love is blind! Blind! not stupid! the man's a walking moron, he's village is definitely missing their idiot! He should be sent back ASAP!
But no now you want to add to this motley crew of idiots Man X who couldn't commit to one flavour of ice cream (he's favorite ice cream is Neopolitan... I rest my case) you want to tell me about two idiots in your life? Look, I have a boss and he's minions, I want idiots, I know where to find them! I do not want to hear it on the tube, or on the train, how you think IT (the stand ) was a bad idea.... how you shouldn't have done it! We've already had this conversation, I already told you it would be a bad idea...!

I 'm going to step aside now and breathe.... deeply. And maybe...just maybe! I'll get run over by a semi truck and be put out of my misery!