Which Switch is Which?

Fact: I'm way too nice to say no.
Fiction: I could care less. yes or no, what difference does it make? No skin off my nose

Fact: No it's ok, you're not annoying, irritating, or in the slightest bit aggravating
Fiction: You're freakin' nuts! ... where do you get off with that kind of crap? What the hell's your problem ?

Fact: I've never seen anything like that!
Fiction: Oh my Gawd! That's it?

Fact: Sure, I don't mind
Fiction: Get it your damn self!

Fact: You're welcome.
Fiction: Don't get used to it!

Fact: Oh Sugar! Fugde how terrible!
Fiction: O Sh*t F*cking son of a bitch! Serves you right! I told you not to do it, didn't I?

I wonder what would happen when fact becomes fiction and vice versa. At some point in time don't we just can what we're thinking and from years of being ' smacked upside the head' say the correct thing, the polite thing, the PC thing when in actual fact your couldn't give a rats ass what happened or how the other person felt?
When you'd really like to tell the yacking broad in front of you to shut up and get outta the way cause you gotta go pii? Or even better, the guys not bad looking not great looking but you pity him enough to laugh at he's not so funny jokes...(Note this is where girlfreind by mistake usually happens! I'm just saying...not that it did, but it could....yeah. Anyway!)
And don't forget, fact is the reason why the following statements exist:
A) 'It's not you. It's me'
B) 'You deserve better'
C) 'I think you're too good for me'

When in reality, fiction is closer to the truth:
'It's you! There is abso-freaking-lutely nothing wrong with me... but if it makes you feel better.... insert statement A here.'
'I so deserve better. C'mon! Face facts, if we breed somebody's going to call the KSPCA on my ass!'
'Let's just say... I'm Christian Dior and you're _______ (insert any of the following that apply here: A) Payless, B) Mitumba C) Walmart/ ASDA D) Jay-lo)

I'm in such a royally wicked mood.... I love it! MWAHAHAHAHAH!

DISCLAIMER:
If you or any member of your family have ever heard the fictional statements that have recently appeared in the above blog.... Use less of the fact next time and apply more fiction, you only get as good as you give! That being said...WOIYE! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!