My Christmas Shitlist
That's right, My christmas shitlist!
Number one as always is Father Christmas, for giving my high hopes about my christmas presents only to viciously dash them in the morning, a whole year and that what I was looking foward to!!! But he's not the main aim of this post.. nope. Mr. Christmas has now been joined by Hope and Cupid!
Lets start with Cupid, that mooning child has made a mockery of my love life (or lack of it thereof) And as Cupid is a mytrhical creature, an infant that refuses to grow up it means that my love life is upto the whims of a flyin naked baby. My approach to children is simple ...discipline! So I would smack that baby's butt three ways from sunday and get out the old cloth nappies that dried into that horrible roughnes and diaper he's sorry behind! If I'm in an especially vicious mood after the last escapade, I'll give he's nappies a good dousing of starch! Yeah... how do you like me now?!? And just to make sure that I remain safe from the whimsical fancies of an infant I will hire supper Nanny to make he's life a living hell.
Let's move on to Hope. Hope's main objective was to aid abet and collude with that devil spawn Cupid! How do you fan the flames knowing full well that i'ts a matchstick and not a bon fire? What kind of cruel joke is it to have high hopes about meeting some wonderful guy (my freinds have decided that while other girls want a hot man on a steed, my man will come in on a harley...how now?!? ) All I can say to Hope is...get the hell outta town when I roll in because they'll definitely be some bitch slapping going on. I don't prescribe to violence but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! I will dish her phone number in all the pubs that I know (and a couple of websites!!!) I'll give her address out to the religious fanatics that make house calls! I will change all the labels on her foods and make sure they're all full fat! And watch her gain weight! Get her pills that slow down her metabolism! While I'm at it I'll change all her dresses at the counter so that she'll think she put on weight between the shop and her house!!!!!
And that's my christmas shitlist
Number one as always is Father Christmas, for giving my high hopes about my christmas presents only to viciously dash them in the morning, a whole year and that what I was looking foward to!!! But he's not the main aim of this post.. nope. Mr. Christmas has now been joined by Hope and Cupid!
Lets start with Cupid, that mooning child has made a mockery of my love life (or lack of it thereof) And as Cupid is a mytrhical creature, an infant that refuses to grow up it means that my love life is upto the whims of a flyin naked baby. My approach to children is simple ...discipline! So I would smack that baby's butt three ways from sunday and get out the old cloth nappies that dried into that horrible roughnes and diaper he's sorry behind! If I'm in an especially vicious mood after the last escapade, I'll give he's nappies a good dousing of starch! Yeah... how do you like me now?!? And just to make sure that I remain safe from the whimsical fancies of an infant I will hire supper Nanny to make he's life a living hell.
Let's move on to Hope. Hope's main objective was to aid abet and collude with that devil spawn Cupid! How do you fan the flames knowing full well that i'ts a matchstick and not a bon fire? What kind of cruel joke is it to have high hopes about meeting some wonderful guy (my freinds have decided that while other girls want a hot man on a steed, my man will come in on a harley...how now?!? ) All I can say to Hope is...get the hell outta town when I roll in because they'll definitely be some bitch slapping going on. I don't prescribe to violence but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! I will dish her phone number in all the pubs that I know (and a couple of websites!!!) I'll give her address out to the religious fanatics that make house calls! I will change all the labels on her foods and make sure they're all full fat! And watch her gain weight! Get her pills that slow down her metabolism! While I'm at it I'll change all her dresses at the counter so that she'll think she put on weight between the shop and her house!!!!!
And that's my christmas shitlist
posted by Stunuh Jay at 3:59 PM
5 Comments:
This is a first, yihaa.. Stunah talking about Christmas in August. What you smoking girl....
Be good. Holler at your boy...
It sounds like you have some serious bones to pick with that little fat baby named Cupid. Let's not forget his boy Hope. :) Take care, Stunuh.
It wouldn't be bad if we lynched cupid, would it?
They all deserve seventy times seven chances at forgiveness, go easy on them three.
lovely weekend stunuh
Hey y'all, sorry about the silence, but am back now!
"B
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