Thursday, January 04, 2007

THESE ARE YOU RIGHTS (as i understand them)

In Kenya:
1) You are under no obligation to give your driving licence to the police, but you are obligated to provide it at the nearest police station

2) You are under no obligation to be frog marched in your vehicle to the nearest police station. You may be frog marched under the auspices of the government in their own vehicle, whilst your vehicle is towed to the police station.


The laws are only enforced over extended public holidays such as christmas and new years and only for purposes of fleecing innocent wananchi, and that's only because the thieves and such suspects have been shot on sight....dead.

On Dec 26th Police Officer 50028 made money at the police blockade turning to Gilgil, this was done under the guise of looking for seat belt, (note that the drive reverse bargained to 300shillings from 1000 shillings) And only when the money was palmed did he release sthe driver's licence. Imagine how many vehicles were travelling that day, and how much money he received for supposedly doing he's job! We were all wearing seat belts mind you... Stupid driver looked like he could a pee'd he's pants

The laws are also enforced when they are barely applicable!!! Take for example the Eldama Ravine Road block, where the CO who looked like a string bean swimming in soup (somehow I don't think that was he's uniform) Pulled us over for overtaking at a solid yellow line...Now I ask you have you seen the roads lately...WHAT LINE?????? Taking the same said driver licence he commands one of he's minions to ride shot gun and ensure that we kmake it to the police station. Eh, one problem, I was riding shot gun. CO uses he's very intelligent brain and tells me to jump in the back. Eh, another problem, back seat carries 3 passengers, and there are already 3 passengers snuggly seated in it... I can't fit. So my little mind says, eh...why don't we wait for next convoy vehicle, you can have driver( who has penchant for attracting trouble ) and we'll be on our merry ways, so let's not all go to the police station, but stand to the side and wait, after all it doesn't matter where we wait, here or the station, right? CO grudgingly gives in although yells for all and sundry thatno one is above the law( except the law enforers....?) Next convoy vehicle arrives and CO understands that owner of vehicle is more than willing to hand over said driver and we're not paying a penny for him, after all he's got that kinda face the cops like, we might get to Nairobi faster if we ditch him . CO sends us off! Better luck next time!!! These bunch of misfits, also called police men were not wearing there badge numbers at all.


British Airways: Passenger rights

You have the right to be packed so tight jumping into a can of sardines will be like travelling in your own personal plane!!! That's right not only are you packed worse than a sardine travelling coach, you get to have the pleasure of being bounced about on the tarmac when the pilot is halfway out suit and tie infavour of black ankle socks and sandals (gross!!!), I wonder if he engaged the emergency brake ?!?
You also have the right to be subjected to the lack of customer service as you call all their telephone numbers( 6 at last count, courteously given by Telkom Kenya) and have none of them picked up over a time span of close to 4 hours.... what could they possibly be doing, annual office footbal game?!? or was it cricket ?!? And if that doesn't drive you round the flipping bend you get to be subjected to the disorganized debacle of checking in (BA0088 Jan 3rd 2007 NBI to Heathrow) with one printer not working and the inept Floor Manager Mary Nasiali/a (what's her face!!!) thinking it would still be a good idea to keep that particular check in counter open, which meant longer check in times, for the unsuspecting idiot that stood in it! (If you really must insist, yes, me!!!) while the guy behind the counter ran like a headless chicken from one check in counter to another begging to have the luggage tag printed! only to hear the helpful words..."Utagonja" from the other counter, that's when I flipped a switch and let them know not only do I hear and understand swa, I also have a penchanct for insulting people in said language! So why did I bother checking in online if I was going to spend half an hour checking in again at the airport? To ensure I got a seat, which is ironic because under the unwatchful eye said Mary I could just pay to sit wherever I wanted to, just like the largesse family of indians did, on a fli8ght that was threatening to be overbooked....?!?

So what is the moral of the story
1) If you're going to travel anywhwere fly don't drive
2) And if you're going to fly anywhere, DO NOT FLY BRITISH AIRWAYS!!!!!!

And by the by, belated Merry Christmas and Happy New year, I hope that you have a better year than last year, and don't forget, tomorrow is FURAHI DAY!!!!!



Blogger Gish said...

Waasup gal, now that is what we call a good rant. The drama that was eh, good to have you back was beginning to get concerned. Happy blogging and blessed new year.

10:27 PM  
Blogger Ichiena said...

Rant away - maze you have earned it. Dare I ask, how was the rest of the holiday? I sure hope these were not the highlights. Happy New Year to you.

8:18 AM  
Blogger Stephen Bess said...

Wow! That was some holiday! I hope that it was enjoyable once you reached your destination. Good to see you back! :)

11:32 AM  
Blogger Nakeel said...

Glad we didnt leave you at 06. HNY gal. Can see started the year with a rant just like I . Despite all that I do hope you enjoyed the holidays.

3:05 AM  
Blogger Stunuh Jay said...

@all: My stay at home was wonderful. I reconnected with my family which is all I wanted to do. Thanks. and Happy new year t y'all
@Gish: Hope your Blog is Bountiful with ideas too.
@ICH.:thanks for visiting. Nah these were just a few agro's not the highlights
@Mr. Bess: Glad to be back it's been a while hasn't it
@ Nak: Holler Girl, I'm telling you! We have to lett folk know when to step!

9:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I need to get me one of those highway code of kenya booklet. Juzi i was arrested for 'cracked windscreen' is that even in the book? And, my insurance sticker and driving license confiscated?!

4:08 AM  

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