Sunday, April 24, 2005

He's just not that into me.

I've been tallying up the numbers:
He doesn't really treat me any sweeter or nicer than the average woman he meets on the street. Ok! Maybe that's an exaggeration, but the truth of the matter is, I need to feel more adored. I want to be called and told all the sweet nothing that make the relationship...Well cute!

He's enamored with money, if he talked about me the way he talked about making money I would be speechless. It's always about money, how much more he can make, how much more he can save. And when I asked him when he'd send for me, he said after he'd made he's first 100K. I mean great, good for him, attaboy and all the niceties that go with it. But does that mean that I get to wait in relationship limbo while he makes up he's mind. Then wait another 7 years for him to turn 40 to marry me? I think I"d better a move on with my own plans. Patience is a virtue, best practiced by someone else

HE'S SO SELFISH. When he wants, how he wants the way he wants. I'm the stupid git that stays up till the wee hours of the morning for him to get home from work so that we can chat on the msn. What the ??? The highlight of my day is spent waiting in front of a computer.
He can be generous, he traded computers with me when I was coming here, but I still feel like he got the better deal, my computers has windows ME, he's has '98 and a couple of issues. But he's computer is a laptop. mine was a desk top)

He's rather domineering, although to tell the truth it feels more like bullying. Our relationship plays like a power struggle, and I'm the one that's struggling to get some footing here. Doesn't sound right!

Double- Oh Dum Dum. Everything must be a secret, I agree that I tell my friends a lot about me, but he doesn't want me talking about him to my friends (yeah right...c'mon age old ritual) In fact he'd be happy if none of my friends new that he was my boyfriend, is that so he could hit on them? Not to mention he doesn't want he's family or friends to know I exist, I have a birthday, a mother, a father and a brood of siblings and he wants to deny me my right to be. I'm a very loving person and I love him dearly, but I also dearly love the rest of the world, I want to be seen, to be known, to be loved, to live.

When all is said and done, why stay? Fear rules more than just what happens tomorrow. It dictates my actions today, knowing full well that I will be alone at the end , I try to hold on to being together for as long as it takes. Even if I'm unhappy. Maybe I'm in love with the idea of being in love. But I don't think I love him anymore. If I didn't have to get my furniture back from him I'd dump he's sorry ass.

While we're on the topic, can you believe he's coming to visit me and he's not even going to tell he's sister he's in town. This relationship has not just started, it's been creeping along for 2-1/2 years. We've even lived together. For pities' sake! I must be some kind of horrible that he couldn't possibly live with the idea of the general public knowing I exist. When I asked him what he wants to do, he sounded as if he just wanted to sit indoors, wait for he's trip to pass and then go back from under whence he crawled!
<< # Kenyan Blogs ? >>

Get Voting - The KayBees