Monday, August 28, 2006

My Christmas Shitlist

That's right, My christmas shitlist!
Number one as always is Father Christmas, for giving my high hopes about my christmas presents only to viciously dash them in the morning, a whole year and that what I was looking foward to!!! But he's not the main aim of this post.. nope. Mr. Christmas has now been joined by Hope and Cupid!
Lets start with Cupid, that mooning child has made a mockery of my love life (or lack of it thereof) And as Cupid is a mytrhical creature, an infant that refuses to grow up it means that my love life is upto the whims of a flyin naked baby. My approach to children is simple ...discipline! So I would smack that baby's butt three ways from sunday and get out the old cloth nappies that dried into that horrible roughnes and diaper he's sorry behind! If I'm in an especially vicious mood after the last escapade, I'll give he's nappies a good dousing of starch! Yeah... how do you like me now?!? And just to make sure that I remain safe from the whimsical fancies of an infant I will hire supper Nanny to make he's life a living hell.
Let's move on to Hope. Hope's main objective was to aid abet and collude with that devil spawn Cupid! How do you fan the flames knowing full well that i'ts a matchstick and not a bon fire? What kind of cruel joke is it to have high hopes about meeting some wonderful guy (my freinds have decided that while other girls want a hot man on a steed, my man will come in on a now?!? ) All I can say to Hope is...get the hell outta town when I roll in because they'll definitely be some bitch slapping going on. I don't prescribe to violence but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! I will dish her phone number in all the pubs that I know (and a couple of websites!!!) I'll give her address out to the religious fanatics that make house calls! I will change all the labels on her foods and make sure they're all full fat! And watch her gain weight! Get her pills that slow down her metabolism! While I'm at it I'll change all her dresses at the counter so that she'll think she put on weight between the shop and her house!!!!!
And that's my christmas shitlist

Monday, August 14, 2006

Yummy to my tummy (lyrically that is)

Now don't you all go rushing out there at the same time but... don't say I din't give you the hook up either !!!

Born Goapele Mohlabane in Oakland, CA, this singer grew up in a socially conscious and politically active family. Her mother married South African political exile Douglas Mohlabane while studying in Nairobi, Kenya. At an early age, Goapele attended the Berkeley Arts Magnet School where she led a pre-teen peer support group. She also became involved in various groups and organizations that combated racism and sexism. It would be these extroverted activities that assisted her singing career as she would also sing at community functions. In high school, Goapele sang in the Oakland Youth Choir and became part of a semi-professional music group called Vocal Motion. Upon high school graduation, she attended the Berklee School of Music in Boston, where she studied music theory

There's a bigger moron out there!

There are sometimes when I could swear that my braincells were diminished in quantity and quality. Then you meet the morons (collective, more than one)!

And then (that is after you've viewed the genii on the above URL...) you wonder, if these are the policitians of the future we're all doomed! So go on throw back that cyanide capsule and chase it with Sou. CO... because it's not getting any better!
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